As sands through the hour glass...
So are the days of our lives. This is something i watched my whole childhood and to my memory angels o, This is also one of the places i developed fear around who i am. any long time watchers of the soap opera. In one season there were episodes where marlana had become pocessed. Sure it was funny when she was ripping the angels off the tree and manically jumping on them out of hatred. what was the story i was seeing put out to the world? I was seeing bad spirits doing bad things , around this time thats allthat existed was fear around ghost and spirits, lets not even get into the way witch craft was shown.
What was the story that then became mine? i had been naturally gifted since i came into this world. i just saw things heard them etc. It was teaching me it was bad it was to be feared, and as we have said before low vibrations attract low vibrations right? always be mindful of the company you keep whether it is spiritually or physically.
at the age of around 15-16 i woke up from sleeping from astro. i was always traveling (if you talk or walk in your sleep you most likely do too). in that dream i had seen my older brother spinning in a casket. this was when he had started usng heroin, we were not aware. ryan was one of the most loved people i had. this absolutely terrified me. I asked for no more . i had blocked myself off at that point on.
To stay.....
to stay in a place where we can't breathe can't expand can't grow, is simply rubbish. we all have the ability to create so much more then we currently are. its all about the will power in question. if that person to fights fo what they want in life or they choose to create a victim mind state. i ask are you ready to change that. are you ready to step forward into your life and create alignment with who you are?
you ready for it. stop complaining create solutions not a victim. its ok to feel the circumstance but not remain there. not to let it overcome you and swallow you whole. think the law of attraction right what do you attract in negative mindset more right? low vibrations attract more of that caliber. are you clinging to that black cloud and wearing it as a badge of honor.
we in fact do have a choice, to be better to prove everyone wrong including ourselves. all you got to do is find the speck of light and continue to walk towards it make it grow to the capacity that no one can stop it. crating change is hard when we rub into walls consistently, but the more you fine tune and learn how to utilize the tools it no longer seems like it's not so hard to break through
.
if it's more of a person that is the part of the situation. you will attract the same problem in others whether it's the one lesson of something someone has done or continues to do that problem will replicate in others. you have become comfortable with allowing that to take advantage or abuse you more.
shadow work prompt:
when was the last time you stayed in a situation longer than you should?
why did you stay?
what is a functional boundary you can utelize?
what is a positive affirmation you can use to help overcome it next time?
November 7
Life is all about choices
Today is election day if you are in the United States of America. for the first time in my life i feel this is a warfare of spiritual agenda at the greatest point of my life I have never been very political in my life.
choices lie around every corner in our life. they are asking you to pick your path. if you choose to answer a where will that bring you or if you pick answer b where does that continue too.
a lot of people will choose to go the easier path well unless your name is Kari. by choosing the path of less resistance is it really better for you in the long run. or does it mean you will have to revisit the same problem again in the future. most likely it will be the latter. I remember reading this quote years ago and unfortunately i do not remember the name pf the author
"You will continue to have the same problem over and over again, in different situations, faces and places. until you learn to overcome it." author unknown
that has stuck in my head. so many times, i will have multiple people with the same problem come at me at once. what does that mean? that i am refusing to look at problem that is facing me, well because sometimes truly understanding hurts. i have noticed that many people will carry the similar traits of people who have caused trauma in my life. i will attract them essentially so i in fact will learn the lesson' at hand.
you cannot grow in comfort; you need to work your way through the uncomfortable feelings to understand the why. then you can develop a logical solution to the ongoing issue. integrating and loving that past version of who you were, offering true compassion and understanding of that version of you.
it does get easier the more your pour into yourself the more you grow the more at peace you find yourself. as you continue to shine light onto those shadows of the past versions of self your light energy does in fact grow. elevating your soul to the next level. removing more and more blocks from your chakra system. allowing you more access to your gifts you have. we all have psychic gifts they are just buried under the dense energy or ideals placed on them.
going through the dark putting in the work will lead you to sunnier days. i promise.
Shadow Work Prompt:
what was the hardest choice you ever had to make?
Why was it hard?
when was the first time you felt the turmoil? and how can we create a better solution in that?
Nov 5
Inner truth and meaning.... the great journey with in.
how did this all start with in me? Honestly there was no way to not look at it. this also lines up with Pluto in Capricorn. in 2008 i had two nephews born that year. one was Mason Alexander born to my little brother by 6 years. The other nephew was Zak and he was born to my older brother of 3 years.
I have always been very family oriented, nurturing and caring for others meanwhile leaving myself behind. Both of these pregnancies and births i was very involved with.
However, mason did not make it, he was sadly born still born a completely healthy pregnancy until it was time to be born. Corey was a baby himself he had just turned 18 maybe 4 months prior. this pregnancy was obviously not a planned one. the mother was a teen as well.
he was born October 18th and that was also the day of his crossing. it was also the day a lot shifted with in me. death is probably the biggest trauma that will cause you to see truth in so much. everybody takes a part in their role after it. but you start seeing things that don't quite add up.
Many roles had shifted in my head from that point on. I could no longer view my mother as the leader. From the moment that the do came out and told my brother his whole world shattered. in the hour of his deepest wounds who was by his side, who dropped everything to find the one carrying the biggest pain. surely you would have thought his parents. but no that's not what happened. she fell to the floor crying and stayed in this mode months to years later playing victim.
meanwhile Corey was left in a ball in the hospital room, where i found him. Helped him stand and hugged him so hard. this moment still leaves me crying and gasping. how can someone so innocent, caring and young be dealt a hand like that. i wouldn't know till years later when i had a better understanding on life itself.
from that day things were just different. my mother had let alcohol to navigate her life, same as it always happened when something devastating would happen. i would take the lead trying to make the moves that someone who had lacked experience in life especially in being a mother would not know. but i did it.
a few months later my other brother had announced my nephew's pregnancy. my mother's immediate reaction was to attack her child, because she did not have the emotional maturity nor emotional intelligence to handle. this turned into a big blow out with me and my mother. as a cancer the one thing i would always do is protect my brothers. I did protect him, my mother screamed at me chasing me around my car so angry. narcissist will never take responsibilities of things they have done or created in their life.
i remember not talking to her for weeks, ignoring her phone calls, avoiding her at all costs. until one day she barged into my work and started trying to gas light me. this is how it continued for years. anytime i would create boundaries she would leap on them and crush them. like they never were there to begin with. it would always end with me being too emotional or dramatic.
be careful when words like that are placed on you, they are very damaging and dangerous to how you look at yourself. they can create a whole new identity with in you. to where your emotions just don't matter. in truth its excuse one side does not to feel shame or guilt in making you feel that way.
understanding the whys in this situation and repeated actions of over time. will lead you to a unique perspective of how you have to come be you. also leading to see the triggers. for a long time, the word dramatic was a huge trigger to me. why was it trigger? it made me doubt my worth. my feelings were not valued in any way there for i was not either. remember at this point i was 24 years old. that programming had sat within me for years. since i was a little girl.
these create blocks that will make you not be open. holding over one of your chakras blocking your third eye. with these thoughts you look at the world differently your truth was changed to follow someone else's story not your own. hindering you in what you need to learn to, move forward and find peace. if we can't find peace and are masking to try to be peaceful as we can, it does a few things. can lead to mental disorders, hides you from your true soul family hindering you from growth (your tribe can't find you wearing a mask covering your energy) you will continue adding to the false story and falling farther out of alignment.
shadow work prompt:
when was the first time you wore a mask and why?
what does your mask look like?
november 4 2024